(One of the nice things about having written A Magical Childhood for so many years is that I have lots of archives to dig up and share again every once in a while! Here’s a favorite of mine from May 2010 that I thought deserved to be said again.)
I’ve been hearing lately from mothers who say how stressed they are and what terrible mothers they think they are.
What? Oh pah.
If you’re thinking along the same lines, I’m here to tell you to stop it.
You rock. You’re a fabulous mother.
How do I know this? Well, first off because you’re beating yourself up and only people who care feel guilt, which means you’re a caring mother. So that right there tells me a lot about you.
Second of all, you’re the sort of mother who reads books about making lives magical for her children. That sort of says a lot about you too!
Third of all, most mothers are more fabulous than they give themselves credit for. It’s a mother thing. We also tend to think other mothers are exponentially better than we are at absolutely everything.
And fourth of all, no matter what sort of beastly mother you think you are, I’m willing to bet that your child still thinks you’re the best mom in the world. Even if said child won’t admit it.
You’re a fabulous mother. You’re loving. You care. You have things you rock at. Many of them.
Do you sometimes screw up? Yep. So do I. Do you sometimes yell or throw shoes at the wall? Maybe. I have. Do you have times when you lose it a lot and feel like a troll? It happens. But it gets better. And you’re still a fabulous mother.
Here’s the wonderful thing about being a mother. Every second is a fresh start. If you screw up you can not screw up the next minute and it goes an awfully long way.
Hug your kids. Say you’re sorry. Be silly. Let things go. Try again. It’s all part of the crazy ride of motherhood. None of us is perfect at it. But most of us are far more fabulous than we give ourselves credit for.
And while you’ve been reading this, another fresh start has begun. Go do something good. Not just for the kids, but for you too.
Now, go off and be fabulous. You can do it. You do it again and again. You’re raising people who will make the world a little better, in part because of your mothering.
Thanks for that.