Meet the Roundbottoms

Tonight I was taking a bath with Alex
when Anna came in with a notebook and pencil.
She introduced herself as Allison Somebody
and wanted to interview me.

I said sure.

She asked how many kids I had,
so I answered 17.

She wanted to know their names.
Sure, I told her,
There’s Twinkletoes Roundbottom here
(Junior really, he’s named after his daddy)
and Eggbeater,
oh yes, and Lizardlump Roundbottom…

Victoria heard from the other room
and had to come join us.
For some reason my girls were laughing so hard
they kept nearly falling over.
It might have had something to do with the funny accent too.

Just then my 6 year old, Higglebott, came in.
He really prefers to be called Jack.
But Swarky Daffodill Strangebottom
(also known as Victoria)
didn’t mind her name at all
as long as I’d answer her questions too.

Those girls wanted to know about discipline
(throwing spoons, I told ’em)
and sleeping arrangements
(the kids sleep on the roof
and it’s sloped, ya know —
all night long I hear tumble tumble tumble BONK).

Higglebott ended up climbing into the bath too
while Swarky and Chickenlips Eugenia interviewed me.
I told a lot of stories about our family adventures.
Boy have I done some dumb things.
Boy do my children laugh a lot.

We made so much noise Daddy went downstairs to watch his show.

I have such a small bathroom
and I never get a bath to myself.

Rotten children.

Just wait till I find my spoons.




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9 responses to “Meet the Roundbottoms

  1. Anonymous

    Oh, you’re so funny! I loved this! Today, I tried to take a bath, too. I snuck in when everyone seemed busy and happy; I felt really tired and I just needed a few moments with a cup of tea in the bath. Well, within two minutes the toddler came and found me, then the four-year-old, then the seven-year-old. I kept trying to suggest other things for them to do, but to no avail. They were using the tub toys on me, with my knees for hills and so on. Those three little faces all lined up there, and then I just started laughing, because even though they drive me nuts sometimes they are SO CUTE. I only finally let the toddler in with me, though.

    • Oh it sounds delightful! Have you read the picture book “Five Minutes Peace”? It’s exactly about that, about a mama elephant who just wants a bath and 5 minutes peace. I saw it and had to buy it. 🙂

  2. Anonymous

    lol – love it!

  3. Anonymous

    first of all, I am going to start commenting *all the time* because you make my day so often….and you need to know this. second–this is so so funny. I can relate……and you also remind me to be a fun parent/person and enjoy life, even when it isn’t going the way I wish!! (like my five minutes alone!)
    Jennifer L

  4. Anonymous

    What a wonderful story and a perfect memory, even if you didn’t get a peaceful bath. I love it!

  5. Anonymous

    Thanks for sharing!
    So cute, so funny. You make my days too. You remind me what kind of mama I am striving to be.

  6. Anonymous

    I haven’t seen that book–I’ll put in on hold at the library!

  7. Pingback: 10 Ways to Make Today Magical « A Magical Childhood

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